Trade and Men's Talk | Off The Job: Overtime Podcast EP.36

Join Keiran and Pete in Off The Job: A Trade Podcast Overtime episode 36 with stories that will have you laughing all the way to the jobsite! This episode dives deep into the lives of tradesmen, touching on the hilarious and unexpected, like Pete’s awkward celebrity moment in a Bella Italia and his cheeky McDonald’s drive through prank.

The lads also chat about the influence of DIY social media stars and how they’re changing the game—for better or worse. Towards the end they take a wonder down pubertity lane discussing wet dreams, dry orgasms and ...odd rope tingles...Whether you’re a seasoned tradesman or just starting out, this episode has something for everyone, from laughs to industry insights.

Make sure to catch the special Season 4 teaser at the end—big things are coming!

📣 Don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe for your weekly dose of tradesmen talk!

#TradesPodcast #TradesmanBanter #FunnyTradeStories #DIYvsTradesmen #UKTradesCommunity

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Warning: Contains adult humour and language.

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Transcript

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this is the last week of our third season oh it's the lot we've got one season left of the year Pete not doing anymore filming no Pete it's over but how am I gonna get paid for that day you're not gonna miss me is it just I gotta do more work now ha ha ha ha ha ha ha it was only a free season podcast oh we're not doing any more seasons no oh shit no more shows it's over how did you find actually doing the show what the live show yeah seem comfort zone I was more worried more worried at the start that people weren't sitting down and then people started to come over and why did they start coming over they see me oh right OK vans got broken into yeah at installer do they have security there the whole time you can't control all them that's just gonna happen yeah there's no getting away from is there it's never gonna stop all you can do are at effects add some brilliant stuff I've got some of it I got my tools up right you just got to protect yourself and you gotta have deadlocks you've gotta have van vaults and I know you shouldn't have to but you have got to some of them are showing the parts of the job but then they're not showing the other part of the job that you need to do after that job they skip it so you're missing important parts so like if it was to do with a gas boiler or whatever they might should not show like a pressure test or gas rate they might just show off which is now we're just doing our final checks and they don't actually go into depth on how these other bits are very important hello welcome to off the job overtime where there's banter in your story shared please be warned there may be some general explicit content good day welcome to after job overtime and we've had a really good week haven't we Karen well last week we had a good week we was down to fix didn't we yes we went to fix busy week but a good week busy we enjoyed it hmm I spoke too much we got about yeah he was interrupting me quite a lot um I was actually gonna ask my cat the other day when I was on a call with him I was gonna say do I interrupt too much I think what when it's in my brain I just speak I don't no I've not I don't actually interrupt that much if you watch him back the guest shows I don't actually I wait to come in and it's hard to actually find a point to come in and ask a question with you right you're the one that normally that that goes in on one okay that you just I'm glad we cleared that up well you didn't let me finish don't even know he's doing it you interrupt the guests I don't I only care probably cause I knew him anyone else I thought I let him speak that you're trying to catch me out now and not talk alright let's see today how many times we interrupt each other anyway facts was good yeah there's a good show for us and can we announce anything yet about the still up in the air um we ain't up in the air we just got made a decision alright so we're gonna fix north I've made the decision there you go we're gonna fix north um and we're going to uh bear in mind they might use this as a promo clip and we sound like we're like just woke up well I haven't I've been awake a while you turn outside today and I'll be going to Feck's North and I'm gonna smash it out the park when I have the live show if you would all like to come and join us at Feck's North and watch us do a panel show of some sorts we've only got a month to do it now um please come and make our day it was a good experience when it fixed off yeah it was good I enjoyed it I enjoyed it um it it was a nice and airy space was it a nice and airy space how did you find actually doing the show what the light show yeah yeah some comfort zone I was more worried more worried at the start that people weren't sitting down and then people started to come over and why did they start coming over they see me alright okay and there's that guy there's that guy who went around can I just point out oh look there he is again can I just point out Pete Pete gets seen all the time on the the first day evening we was out won't we till about uh don't I'd why you bring this out I didn't want you to bring this out why because it's like you know yeah but it's funny yeah I know but that's like between we're in Bella Italia at half 10 at night and Pete was out went outside come back in and said oh someone just come up to me and ask for my signature ha ha ha ha looking like a homeless man in his London tourist jumper didn't ask for my signature ha ha ha ha he asked he asked did he ask for a photo or just said hello he asked to have a photo you're pretty much famous now Pete and then the next morning we walked to my van to put the stuff there come back went into a caf sitting outside and the guy come up to him said you don't know me but I love you I love your videos I thought can we cut all this shit out no it's so cringe it's got like loads of fanboys it's so cringe then it affects someone thought not that many people come up to me I have some awkward situations it affects to be honest but someone come up to me and said oh I thought you was did you say I thought you was taller well I didn't think he's gonna be that short but somebody said that to you yeah the the lady from the tap tap works do you remember that oh yeah yeah yeah I do yeah she was shorter than you I know trying to say I was short uh but yeah it's a good experience so put it this way yeah we're going to FX North to do it again FX north yeah live show and we'll be on the stand so if you wanna come on the stand and have an interview we just like drag people off like say come on talk to us tell us why you're here etcetera be good to see you all there um Kieran um we don't have to discuss this they put it in there yeah you don't have to do do you yeah it's a bit boring it's probably a bit boring Kieran Networks Kieran likes the network he likes to get his face about places than he within the business world and what does networking really benefit here and anything well if you really think about it that's where it's got us here today brilliant carry on going if I didn't go to install the show I wouldn't met you exactly that's networking isn't it I didn't do the Dartford event I wouldn't met you so this is all networking effects installer all them type of places is also networking events cause you never know what's gonna happen like me and Peter doing a podcast together now we would have never seen that one happening would we because of networking brilliant keep going with the networking gearing nice important it definitely important um hey East London gear I don't remember that when was that when was that about two weeks ago I feel like we need to what was they talking about yesterday we we talked about last night I did gig last night it was a dark comedy night right and there was a I did it I did my old blind set and there was a blind guy called Steven very nice man yeah very nice man and um he was doing a set and I did the blind set and for a dark comedy night it was surprising that everyone was offended in the audience it was like why are you here no why are you doing it did it not give it away dark comedy and that's your normal blind set yeah that and it's talking about your own parents yeah ha ha ha they got offended my own experiences but they have to get offended on behalf of my dead dad do you know what I mean do you reckon I was looking at the guy that is blind there for all I was more concerned about him oh no I said I did actually say I didn't know he was gonna be here ha ha ha I'm sorry I was not sorry and nobody told me Steve was gonna be here you can see it it's an awkward situation but uh um it was alright I'll give him a lift home good job he's having a chat on the way home he lived in Houston is that why you done that video so he's having a chat yeah ha ha ha and then the way home I've done another video that I'm gonna put out today so hopefully it'll be out already I actually went to a McDonald's drive thru and because what I did on stage I actually put um dark glasses on and had my dad's uh white cane with me on stage to emphasize the uh the the the act and I actually went to a drive through McDonald's and did the same thing and I'm pretty sure the bloke thought I was blind driving my van ha ha ha ha did you think he was you've seen the video yeah yeah he he must be more confused I guarantee they're speaking about that after possibly to this guy she drives his van this blind man drives his van through the drive thru you should have stopped at the end uh I wish I I should have drive but I said what I said to him I was like tell me when to stop cause I might go past we actually shout yeah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha you done well to keep a straight face uh but yeah that's just me in my spare time I've got a question for you making fun for myself what to make I've got a question to make it interesting one what is the most awkward situation you've come across by like someone coming up to you that recognizes you if you had an awkward scenario not really no no no it's like is that let let's let's build it I'm not I'm not famous yeah I know right but I don't want people to think all these kids think but it happens well I got a message actually it happens he's interrupting again Robbie see I'm trying to get this me a conversation and there he goes I'm gonna free this free evidence no no I don't talk enough the four do you know what I mean can't help myself but yeah but you do get I tell you what me my girlfriend gets yeah when she's with me she gets more embarrassed about it do you know what I mean it's embarrassing isn't it at the end of the day I think it's um it's a nice feeling do you know what I mean it's um yeah when I got spotted in which the ball I bet it won't won it every day I imagine being not super famous but you couldn't go to the shops imagine that that's the thing do it that's another level on it I couldn't not that I ever wanna do that or get to that point anyway but for people that are like stars yeah they can't even walk down the road oh mate be horrendous with that paparazzi outside their ass yeah be horrendous I won't wanna do that that's why they go downhill at the end of it they become recluses didn't they yeah I get on drugs and drink and go down the wrong path sounds pretty cool ha ha no not advocating you're you're drinking drugs we're not advocating that but um now you can see why people like get depression hmm when they're that high up cause people go well they've got so much money and they're so famous why are they depressed well you would be wouldn't you if you couldn't get out your house without being recognised it'd be it'd be horrific wouldn't it I think people always chase when you're doing something you chase that end goal but you hear a lot of time when you get there you're not fulfilled it's more that journey up to that point and people are not content when they get there so they feel lost and depressed and they don't know what to do with their lives maybe so that's why you gotta enjoy the journey getting there enjoy the journey get recognized in your green van everywhere you go ha ha I'll be driving along but people just recognise that I don't get recognised this is when it gets recognised cause you see like tradesmen and lot of tradesmen obviously follow me and then I'll be driving down the road and somebody will just go I might be in like Kent I might be in London somebody go Mrs or the kids go who's that I don't know I don't know it's not like but but the van gets recognised that's why I'm half thinking about taking the green off of it now because packet was it sprayed no it's I signed it maybe we could do that as a video why did I think of this for content two birds one stone let's get the heat gun on it and let's all peel the van now I think we should buy about 20 spray can really what get like 20 spray can to spray your van different colour no why not no no we can like do the off the job logo on it content is content we get everyone from the office peeling it we get content I get a white van ah great alright come up with the next idea Robbie next video idea we're peeling the van yeah he's writing it down look can you send them can you send Lois down to Screw Fix to get a heat gun for us there was um more hair dryer she must have a hair dryer blesser probably in the car Louis yeah I don't know if we should go into this next thing cause in brackets at the end it says Pete wanted a rant so there was a lecture I went there in Tool Fair and Coventry last week oh yeah and vans got broken into yeah at installer do they have security there the whole time but why no they they they can't look at they can't keep an eye you can't control all them that's just gonna happen yeah you can't there's no getting away from it is there cause it looks like someone's just getting into their van and they said that it's never it's never gonna stop all you can do are effects that is brilliant stuff I've got some of it I got my my tools up right you just got to protect yourself and you got to have deadlocks yeah you've got to have van vaults and I know you shouldn't have to but you have got to yeah I mean morally you shouldn't have to have it because people shouldn't nick your stuff but realistically you've got to have that stuff now you got to have your van locks you got to have your you know tool vaults and now they got this smart water system that is a DNA thing that they was giving away effects is pretty good actually see Mark up all your tools and you can see it on the microscope it's got a code so then if um your tools get recovered they go over it with ultraviolet light find the code see it and then they can you register your tools with it and then you get your tools back yeah I think it takes individual to put in the precautions and you mean you know put your stickers on the van saying look my tools are protected Mofo do you know what I mean sort of thing you do it's just it's a horrible world we live in and I think that you know well we all know what I think about what should happen to him basically I'm actually thinking going further than taking limbs I'm just thinking that you don't know not in prison do you know what I mean I would do this on my own I just think now I think there should be you know I think it should be more severe than that now on a brighter note did you see put his post about the on the tools awards been coming out what and they put biggest best calves or something do you see that what best calves did you see that I don't know if I've seen it yet huh cause yeah people putting up about being finalists on on the tools yeah yeah yeah and they edited it and put on the tools like best calves awards ha ha man has got some cuffs he has he let us down with the trousers I know I was I was expecting it being short I was gutted should we get into our comments yeah episode 8 with yeah not too many though we're not gonna do too many comments are we cause people get bored of that yeah can you give us some feedback I think the last one we just we just we just read out comments and people's like switching off now anyway yeah so alright then so this is from the comments just from what was said on the thing so um from Brendan Fisher 2 5 2 8 the American plumbing is crazy they seem to be behind on many things like using cast iron and pouring lead joints as well as steam boilers in houses really enjoyed this you should also get Mikey Pipes on he's a right character Mikey Pipes what is he American I'm guessing he's American as well Mikey Pipes yeah um would you say they're behind um still using cast iron and I use a lot of clips I know that ha ha ha ha ha poor in LED joints that is quite old school but cast iron I don't understand cast iron commercial yeah cast iron still out there in it you go into a car park you see cast iron waste pipe and everything still didn't you um cast iron water works though today still oh yeah they do still people barreling and doing stuff like that in there I'll be surprised if that's on domestic though quite threatening yeah domestic yeah but you seen the size of their Aussies in America you know what I mean their Aussies are massive out there they got massive Aussies in America so maybe some of them are like commercial so you know you walk into a massive house over here like a prelatious home like some of the boiler houses in that and then places are massive like they've got like a commercial gas meter outside in the garden and all that like that's how much you need to heat these places you know that's why we need more that is why we need to go green you're not one of those ha ha ha right so as it is imagine having to go get a permit from UK councils for a tank change would be waiting for years for it tall wouldn't ya yeah but the thing is right what he says he's got to go and get a permit that's no different from us fitting an unvented cylinder because you don't have to actually be unvented to fit an unvented cylinder in this country you just go to a council right and you put in for building rigs and building rigs come out you need the unveiled ticket no you don't no you don't no everyone thinks you do no you don't you just have to take it to your account you if you're not if you're not unvented and we can check this and this will be a good comment section as well because when we said you don't actually have to be gas safe to work on your own gas people yes you do yes you do and then we got it from the horse's mouth that gas safe no you don't actually but if you was to blow the house up you'd have to prove your competence the law still states that you don't have to be gas safe to fit gas or do gas work in many gray areas man exactly and the same with unvented you don't actually and this is to fit in somebody else that you don't have to be unvented yeah to actually fit an unvented cylinder you just have to put it into building rigs you got if you ain't unvented and you wanna fit an unvented cylinder you go to building rigs and they come out and they sign it off obviously for a charge no different from that so it's the same it's the it's it's actually the same right at plumbing you dot UK well both sides of the pond here plumbing is way better regulated protected in the USA the UK would be a lot better off following suit gas however is way better regulated and protected in UK and America would be better off it sounds like they regulate gas and plumbing good though uh yeah from what he said yeah yeah but it does cause it does create a lot more admin imagine you doing all these permits and that and nothing would have a permit on it I just I can't get over the amount of the charges he has to pay like the I know these van insurance is $700 a month when it and stuff like that and then and then he's got all these other administration uh something tax on it can't remember what it was there I should have asked her I wonder if there's an app out there crazy I wonder if he uses an app for his gas certificates maybe wonder how they register go go go go worldwide Kira nationwide um so our question of the week was what's your opinion on the rise of DIY home improvement influences question Mark help or hassle I mean I a lot of people like don't like the fact of DIY home influences because they're showing people how to do job and a lot of tradies out there get butthurt by saying well you'll take your work away for bus because but everybody right if they could wants to do their own work don't they they'll do it if they wanna do it if they but people don't don't but there are people out there if there wasn't these trading influences out there they'd be doing their work anyway they'd be finding other ways of doing it right they they do it you know it's not just because of like YouTube and all that that people doing it people been doing DIY for fucking years but they're just finding it now they now they're doing it right do you know what I mean oh and you could say like oh we would have got somebody in for that but you know become an influencer if you're that bothered about it yeah make money that way I'll say horses for courses if you wanna put a blind up put a blind up it's not that hard yeah but I mean what they're what they're talking about is when people do like real stuff that that a tradie would do but now a DIY can but he's seen it on YouTube and then they're getting upset by it but this is the world we're in and you just gonna have to accept it mate do you know what I mean pointy plumber put handyman gas and lecky services should be enforceable laws hmm I don't really know what he means by that uh honey man gets unlucky so he should be enforceable what he's saying he's in the home probably that that that what I was just saying you doing it in your own home yeah it should be enforceable that you can't maybe that's what he's getting at it's really hard to tell what point he's talking about but what I will say is he's the only man he's got nice car but he's the only man who I've been on a tube train with that I can actually hear the whole conversation he's saying but he's he's louder than the train you can hear him can't you you can hear him from the other end of the carriage I can't believe what he done to Kimmy as well I know if we didn't go the wrong way I can't believe he LED us up the stairs um hot in up limited household hacks that they used to teach at schools or handyman things yes skilled work that needs specialist training and equipment no okay that's peaceful on it um yeah I mean skilled work needs specialist training and equipment yeah you're right if there's if there's if there's a point of the work could cause serious harm to somebody else because you've done it wrong there should be some sort of training involved yeah but let's say putting a shelf up could fall on somebody's head and kill him still can it do you know what I mean yes I've got a long one here oh god oh god wobbly Bob plumming co oh didn't he say enough in the live show oh Robbie hey you did yeah I interviewed him in the live show tonight um things like how to build a concrete slab or do small build works is good working on a gas boiler or replacing a ring main no things can take a terrible turn very quickly as any tradesman person will tell you nothing against people have channels and do how to do lessons but I think there should be a line drawn somewhere where it starts to get more complicated with the best will in the world and online lessons you only really learn from doing it and there's many parts of the processes I've noticed that these channels they get left out for whatever reason which could end up with the home miner in a right pickle at which point the trace people get the phone call we've all been on both sides I think yes he yes is actually stating what I just said and not saying yeah if there's something that can call serious arm or whatever like then you need to regulate it um and but but what I think is regulated but what he's saying is he said that some of them are showing the parts of the job right but then they're not showing the other part of the job that you need to do after that job they skip it like sort of thing so you're missing important parts so like if it was to do with a gas boiler or whatever they might should not show like a a a pressure test a working pressure test or or a gas rate you know what I mean they might just show on which is now we're just doing our final checks and they don't actually go into depth on how these other bits are very important anyway news of the week why can you educate me what what was talking about earlier what's his name Hugh Edwards oh that nuns because I said I don't know he's a nuns I think I've heard of his name but I haven't looked into what's happened yeah he's a nuns innit yeah well what's tell me explicit pictures uh he had tell me the whole backstory I don't so all I've known that he's gone to court and got away with it mate what he used to do used to pay he used to pay a a young lad about 17 lad was like serious amounts of money right and then for the lad to show him pictures and do this that and the other and then he was gonna meet the lad and the parents like really was like they bought it up to the Sun Newspapers and the Sun Newspapers bought it out this mystery book then they found a load of like category I is it like bad that's bad bad bad pictures yeah so it loads to do evidence and he's got away of it yeah but he's but he's got away of it on a suspended sentence but I think what is it how he got away of it was I didn't want them sent to me but um why are you hanging about of this pedophile anyway not a known not is a known pedo do you know what I mean everyone knew about mate it's all crooked mate it's crooked how can you get away with that yeah because a look at the people he's associated with himself over the years yeah you know what I mean yeah this is wrong it's all bad it's disgusting what did he get what did he get suspended was it six six months six months that is absolutely fucking vile it is disgusting right and then and then they're banging people up for doing a comment on Facebook which might not be politically correct is the world going pretty mad how can we find this show up why they protecting people let's go into then the news story is negative it's all negative today what is this news story should we fuck that off out of it yeah let's speak about yeah this is the last week of our first season oh it's the lot we've got one season left of the year not doing any more filming no Pete it's over but how am I gonna get paid for that day Pete no ha ha you're not gonna miss me is it just I gotta do more work now ha ha ha ha ha ha ha this is the last week with it was only a free season podcast oh we're not doing any more seasons no oh shit no more shows it's over lies ha ha ha ha ha no this is actually the last week the first season and it gone so quick yes yeah it's gone very quick and then at least you I I believe they're making time of us don't you think oh you're going to conspiracy again they're taking time off of us so this week she said something about that she said don't you remember when you were younger right time used to stay in still yeah because that's when you're young I know I know I've been into this before but I know the concept of it Karen because when you're 10 10 years is forever but now 10 years to me well this goes like that didn't it because I'm 45 yeah you 45 yeah mate but you know what I mean sorry Robbie uh so yeah this week is our last guest well it's not our last guest cause it's us doing the live show yes yes yes oh yeah the live show from facts you can see it you can see how it rocks nobody went to the front nobody went to the front at at north make sure you're in the front yeah hmm we're gonna do a lot of audience participation we're gonna do a lot don't tell him that cause you'll scare him off alright we're not gonna do that right we're gonna do a lot of roleplay please give us feedback as well on these shows yeah give us feedback where's where's me subscribe button man where is the subscribe button I see all these like YouTube programs that press the subscribe button there's me I'm going please subscribe I'm pointing to oh where is the subscribe button I've been busy busy hey we're trying to speak about the last season you just go off mate well that's me you don't realise how hard it is to control him what were talking about last season what you wanna talk about the last season then what Season 4 that I've loved being with you oh nice yeah lovely really appreciate that do you like being with me yeah I love it yeah I mean it's it's the highlight of my week but no so we're still gonna be doing our show for the next three to four weeks yeah we'll still be doing that yeah and then the last season rolling up to Christmas great he said the word Christmas well we're in the birds now you're allowed to say it my girlfriend actually wants to put Christmas decorations up next month can you believe that well I seen graves in they put the lights on at 16th of November yeah I mean that's that's light mate that's light in my girlfriend's house that's light they're going up after they're going up after firework night or else she loves it she loves Christmas do you remember when we was younger when we was younger right we used to put the decorations out about the 10th for the 12th of December right and then they wouldn't come down to the 6th of January right now now right Boxing Day come off up in the loft that's because they've been up since October what days do you put your Christmas lights up I I do genuinely like it's a bit early it's still about Christmas I like the 1st of December yeah I think that's about right yeah if you do it too early it ruins the whole build up like you only need a week or two before Christmas not very don't make she loves it he can't help it I'm actually looking forward to the Christmas video she's talking about Christmas in the summer really yeah she's one of them but we got Halloween firework night firework night I haven't been to that in years if you're in America Thanksgiving what's that all about Thanksgiving what is Thanksgiving never really understood that they prefer that to Christmas out there don't they I love to wake here and just broke that down by turning the words around ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I've never really understood that um but yeah yeah we just uh what you what you gonna say I might view my you say I interact too much do you do anything for Halloween nah oh we used to yeah that's it the kids too old now as well last year I feel I took them trick or treating yeah took him around the old uh took him around the old uh council estate we got 18 I feel like it's too early to speak about how no no no no no it's not no it's not uh took him around the old council estate yeah they got 18 vapes is this meant to be a joke ha ha ha ha that's what you get when you're on a council's date they give you vapes not chocolate bars I live on the council's date alright it's fine for me to say that when you was younger right what did you do like did you do pranks at Halloween yeah we ate the children's zone we ate we ate we ate the children's zone no you didn't there was a children's home but all the like the naughty kids and all that was in the children's home and stuff and uh like we egged it no you didn't didn't even knock on the door we just take the thing is the shops don't let you buy eggs around that time especially when you're a kid I know you're only one of scrambled egg on toast my mom sent me down the aisle we put fireworks outside somebody else's door we didn't like did you do the old fishing line trick what was that where you tie the fishing line round the knocker oh yeah and you stand behind the car and just pull the line my mate's done that there was a bloke right he's alright old fucker right and um he he was horrible he's an horrible old bastard right they put goal posts up in the field he lived next to the playing fields right and he used to hate the kids why did you move next to a playing field you old prick yeah you always get that old couple do you know what I mean and he'd always be moaning and kiss well as kids we used to throw the swings over the bug get them bloody swings out I'll make him right it was vandalism at the time but then when we was actually doing something constructive like we put a goal post up and all that fuck I cut them down do you know what I mean overnight cut them down and stuff like that so what I did the swings was probably about 200 yards away from his house and they did exactly that they put fish in line to his door knocker and then sat on the swing 200 yards away I was just going he's kept coming out and we're all sitting on the swings just look at him laughing and uh yeah we had the old couple I think my mate punched him ha ha ha his teeth come out he said I felt my my mate about 14 years old and he was chasing him and my mate turned around and punched him and his teeth went forting like that it's funny you always like in the same road you have them different types of I don't I don't I don't buy them they just buy it in then I know but I'm just stressing see what I mean this is don't punch old people but you always get the different types of people in one road yeah you get like the crackhead yeah then you get the old couple that moan mate yeah then you get the person that just gets on with everyone mate we had a bloke right one of our one of our mates right he you saw about crackheads right his name was Mazzy on his addiction to tamazipan that was his nickname you know what I mean imagine that I think they even sniffed Ajax once to be honest with you they was that like that that's my statement did everyone used to linger on one person's house like everyone would there be that house where everyone just saw yeah there were a bus stop yeah a bus stop yeah why would you hang around I don't know because there was nowhere else to go in my town but the bus stop where we all drunk Special K do you remember K's the drink cider it's like 9% you drink about three cans when you was off your fucking tits at 15 years old you know what Lightning Thunderbirds was another one well we don't know about that but where I lived so we had a park and a field on my road yeah everyone used to hang out in that park yeah but when I remember one one night my mate Sam he was crazy he's still crazy now uh I look at him now and he he's gone scuba diving in the lake and stuff he's just always been wild like he set fireworks out of his ass there was actually a video on YouTube and he bent over and us he's playing golf in his garden he's like whack a ball at my ass is that dirty Sanchez this is on YouTube and he got taken down he's actually asked him the other week after he put this scuba diving video to ask if he still got it I hit this ball while he's bent over it hit the washing line pole bounce back and hit him square in the in the nose ha ha ha ha ha ha ha it was on YouTube I was just duet that video but um yeah so we was out drinking in the park one that was about 15 16 Joe when you doing all nighter yeah you don't wanna go home we ended up in the subway and we all fell asleep just on the grass next to the subway yeah and I got we got up like he was smashed we got up and we left him there on his own asleep and he woke up in hospital did he he got fine fine by people walking down the road and they called the ambulance do you have your stomach pumped he has something done yeah I remember I got ABS about same sort of age 15 16 bought a whole bought a bottle of chinzano whole bottle I've done of it like neat like I've never been so fucking pissed in all my life I couldn't walk I couldn't walk my mates had to walk me home and they just left me at the door and when my dad opened the door they ran off right and I just fell through the door yeah and my dad went what's the matter with you and he go are you drunk right uh bearing in mind my dad was blind obviously right he kicked me up the stairs right he kicked me up the stairs you're bloody disgrace get up the stairs and when we used to do what we used to call it keeping out as well well you just like you set a tent up somewhere might be someone's guard might be somewhere out in the rural area whatever and we we got our first doobies we got our first doobies we talked about drugs this is what we done when we had lessons right so we're off the off the off our mate right he sold us some doobies right and we was all out in the tent smoking it and we was all like oh yeah I'm I'm really stoned right that's it anyway next day he went how's that stuff and he's got ah yeah brilliant it was herbs it was just mixed herbs wasn't even the real stuff and we was all pretending and thinking that we were stoned because that's what we did as kids good old days isn't it do you think I don't know if it's cause we're getting older and we just don't see it I tell you what so I tell you one funny story now like while I'm on it for I was bad no while I'm on it while I'm on it cause we both did the same thing exactly but I'll forget but this is but this is worth it right have you ever had an orgasm right what you laughing at never had one right listen he's laughing he's laughing at the word orgasm that is the how grown up Robbie is right you can't even say a word like orgasm with somebody laughing it's in the show office you could say that oh that's big and that people will start laughing anyway so anyway so if you ever had an orgasm without actually dizzing no I have right and I right I've got another question after that I'll tell you what I'm right so won't you like we congregate I think I'm trying to think back let me I'm trying to go back in my memory no no let me get on with the story yeah so last night it come out what think think about right let me get on with the story right cause this is a good story right when we congregated around this house where we used to go right and we used to drink and smoke and all that say he was like wanking no no nothing like that right anyway so I was stoned so you can shoot the longest his didn't come out listen I was I was stoned right I was stoned yeah and I was lying on the floor right and this girl who are really fancied right she was sitting on the chair above me and all you don't believe I'm saying this but all she was doing was stroking my head all she was doing was stroking it and I could just smell the whiff of cheap perfume as well and she stroking my head and I felt some movement right down there right so much so but I was like just by stroking your head just by stroking my head she was like and I was like I was like the slightest little right I was so I was so stoned I was like oh right and I was like whoa whoa and and you know what it's like frobo like proper frobo like that right like you're worried about it was like but you know what yeah when you're younger it was proper for but I started thinking I still like it still like it it's just carry on no it's that and then it got to that point you know when you get to that point and I was like oh hang on a minute I was like boom and I was like huh by getting your headstroke by getting my headstroke that's when you're younger ha ha ha so I had to exit right I've gone upstairs but I've gone upstairs cause I have I'm not huh I've gone upstairs I've gone upstairs right check myself and it's nothing completely dry nothing I'm not what it's kinda well I'll go down and add some more of that ha ha ha ha ha ha ha went down stroke stroke didn't stroke anymore and I thought I thought what this is the best feeling ever cleanest orgasm they do say you can like orgasm by just getting in the zone and by someone talking I was in the zone let me tell you so that's probably what happened I was in the zone that was the zone I was in that's so funny cause when you're younger like it's the slightest little touch and you're like worrying about it is that is that little is that little smell of perfume as well in it you know what I mean the little touch the little smell oh here we go this should have been at the this should have been at the start of the episode well eh Robbie you got some proper editing to do cut out all this shit and we'll just put the good bits in here's here's one I remember from my childhood right well an orgasm ha ha ha ha do you remember the first time you ever done it no way in primary school Joe used to get like the climbing frames yeah and I used to pull it out you used to have the ropes right comment when you no no no no no did you ever get uh a tingly feeling what was coming back down the road yeah cause your willies like right like you're trying to come down and you get this tingly feeling like coming down the road no no ha ha in me eyes tingly feeling because it burn but like you know cause I'll slide down them but not in me no they're like Karen stop climbing up the road can't get more that's why he's got such big arms he kept climbing up the road ha ha he was up and down that rope hold up just leave him to it I can't he's happy no he's getting exercise he's got a smile on his face as he comes down I can't remember the exact feeling but there was a feeling there when I was coming back down that road do you remember your first time do you remember your first time actually like like your first time actually I don't actually remember oh let's talk about this shit now right we're gonna get into this like what I remember it took me right by surprise do you know what I mean when you left to your own devices in your bedroom as a teenager yeah I wish I remember you probably you probably got more recollection of this than me Rob because you're close to do a teenager than me now yours right do you remember your first time yeah I wish I remember it come out it come out it come out it come out it was like water wouldn't it it was like water and he was like ah ha ha what's happened what's happened right but then when the first time right cause you think you don't you know you you little bit blaze about it but then the the the the time that it really got some structure to it do you know what I mean that really like oh what the fucking hell is this do you know what I mean do you know what I mean and then you can't leave it alone after that can you it's constant that was my first ever joke I wrote about being circumcised it was like you know I'm I'm a circumcised man I said I know I said it's not for religious reasons um not that I've got anything against religion I'm not a complete prick but that was my joke right so then I had to write onto it and I was like this and bearing in mind this was at the workshop when Jeff was um workshopping us and he was I was standing up on the stage and he's sitting there and he turned around and he went he said uh it goes gone and carry on with what you're gonna say after that I went yeah so anyway the decision come for me to be circumcised he's my mum turned around to me and she said um you can't put it back it started it's starting to smell now you've got to go to the doctors no wonder your wife left you right ha ha it was sort of like a like a you know I mean one of them once and um Jeff was sitting there and he's a little bit deaf and he didn't hear it all probably yeah yeah he went yeah he went yeah I got the first bit he goes where the uh you know you're not a complete prick he went but um why was your mum sniffing your cock ha ha ha ha and I was like no no that's a fro do you know what I mean it's a alright yeah I don't like cock jokes he goes ha ha ha ha I was like alright then I've got one more question to try yeah yeah have you ever had a wet dream yeah you're saying yes if like loads of times I mean yeah I mean I've had a few of them I think I've had like one and I'm sure it was in like the last five years I woke up confused ha ha ha ha ha ha I thought I pissed myself ha ha I didn't know what it was and now you say it's like water you didn't know what it was it was like watery it weren't like you pissed yourself mate ha ha ha ha ha ha ha you you pissed yourself yeah don't worry about it you pissed yourself it's not when you go you've had loads I wanna be in your dreams I had a I had a few when I was a kid what's wrong with you I had a few when I was a kid this is really gone downhill when it really it's gone it's here a new note today really hasn't it um I mean yeah when I was a kid and all that you heard about them at school didn't I the kids would go you've ever had a wet dream and you go huh I don't remember having it as a kid I wet the bed I wet I wet the bed yeah till like 12 yeah I wet the bed till 12 how old was you was you 12 we spoke about that with the alarm yeah that's it we've already done that bit didn't we yeah I mean I'll still wet it now every now and then you know I'm too pissed told you did I tell you to run about that um did I tell you to run when I was staying it I did did I yeah did that one yeah I mean I pissed everywhere everywhere should we get off the subject when you still you dream about it didn't you dream about going to the toilet you dream about I think you think you're dreaming but you actually think I need a toilet yeah no obviously that's what I'm saying but but the the consequence is you then go to the toilet and then you dream you're just pissing away in the toilet and you wake up and you think oh fuck and it's worse when you ran your mate's house and his mum is in the next room and you've pissed everywhere it's not a nice feeling to tell her that you've pissed all over her son right on that note yeah thanks we ended that well it's a bit of trade talk a bit of childhood talk yeah alright thank you for listening this uh but if you are a youngster um and you shouldn't be listening to this if you're under the age of 18 don't worry it happens to us all ha ha ha ha we all pissed to bed we all have wet dreams yeah thanks very much for joining us thank you see you later bye alright this has been another episode of off the Job podcast thanks for watching the show on YouTube or listening on Spotify Amazon Music Apple Podcast and all other streaming platforms if it's your first time watching or not make sure to subscribe below and follow us on all the big social media stuff like Facebook Instagram TikTok for our overtime show on Monday send us in your stories and comments for it to be read out on the show send it in via email direct message through our social media accounts or WhatsApp us on oh seven 4 0 6 2 5 9 and we see you on the next episode